


fnaf shit posts

by eggs_4_days



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Breastfeeding, Death, Drinking, Drugs, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Other, Smoking, Weed, foxy with tits, mars?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:14:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27497782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggs_4_days/pseuds/eggs_4_days
Summary: some random fnaf shit posts for your “enjoyment”
Relationships: foxy/anime girlfriend (ex), freddy/a fucking rat
Kudos: 5





	fnaf shit posts

**Author's Note:**

> lmao good luck

(disclaimer: as a guy who’s never done any of these things, this story may be inaccurate, but i’ll try.)

“hello freddy. what are you doing?” foxy asked intregued but crying.  
“cocaine.” freddy said with little to no emotion.  
“what the fuck.” foxy was surprised as freddy was usually a big wuss.

“gimme some of that” foxy wanted to snort some shit as he had just broke up with his anime girlfriend, who cheated on him with another woman, and foxy had been eating raw cookie dough all day while bonnie called him a fat slut. 

foxy snorted the coca cola, and then drank some cocaine. turns out he was doing it wrong but he was trying. freddy sent a group text to bonnie and chica to come and join them. bonnie was there before freddy had sent the text. 

“heyyyyyy guysssssss” bonnie looked horny but this isn’t a porno. “brought some weed.” bonnie pulled out a bag of weed and foxy grabbed some and shoved it up his ass while singing “what is love?” (baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more)

chica was concerned when she finally arrived and saw foxy with weed in his ass, freddys nose covered in coke and bonnie reading a book. turns out cocaine has reverse effects on bonnie and actually makes him smart. 

“oh. my. god. MY ANIME GIRLFRIEND!!!!! LET ME LOVE YOU!!!” foxy yelled at chica, followed by vomiting. chica looked confused and backed away and just left, but she came back with some magic mushrooms. foxy, as the selfish cunt he is, took all the mushrooms and put one in each hole in his body. puppet walked in with drinks.

“what the fuck is this.” puppet wasn’t surprised as this was expected at some point. he sighed and just layer the drinks down as each one of them grabbed a drink and downed it. puppet sighed and just left, disappointed. chica took some magic mushrooms from foxys eyes and nose and started seeing shit real quickly. 

chicas eyes widened the longer she stared at the black orb in the middle of bonnies unbuttoned shirt. even though they didn’t wear shirts. the orb expanded and swallowed chica into the orb. she fell and fell and fell until eventually falling into a pit of freddy heads. 

“run run run run run run run” the freddy heads spoke in unison. chica began to run until she tripped over a penny and fell into foxys newly formed boobs. this new dimension had been messing with chicas head but she didn’t know if it was real or not, as foxys breasts seemed weirdly realistic and milky. 

“wanna suckle?” the weirdly realistic boobed foxy talked to chica in such a calming manor that she did want to suckle, and she did suckle.

(to her, it seemed she was suckling on foxy’s  
breasts, but in the real world, she was sucking on a rusty pipe.)

after five minutes of foxy milk, foxy grabbed her by her non existent ears and swallowed her with one bite. traveling down foxys throat, she found all the other lost souls he had swallowed, including balloon boy and carl. 

(meanwhile, bonnie is still reading his book and now has a monocle and pipe. bonnie should do this more often.)

once chica reached foxys stomach, everything went to shit. she was greeted by blorb and gorb, who were about 3 feet tall and had very long fingernails. 

“beep boop” blorb said.  
“bap” gorb responded.  
chica was exhausted and just wanted to sleep in a minecraft bed. but not before she was grabbed by glorb’s long ass fingernails and she was tossed into a feasting chamber where she was sent off to mars which was currently being ruled by Barack Obama, who had a phobia of chickens. 

“as the president of the united states of amarsica, i now stab you.” obama shot chica in the head and kicked her back into the real world, eyes still dialated and feeling like she was going to give birth. bonnie read. 

freddy was in coke land and was surrounded by mounds of nose candy which he obsorbed with his…. well…. his nose. then, he saw it. he saw the chosen one. mr pupper with a bupper.  
“wowie! pupper with a bupper!!!!” freddy said enthusiastically

“come. come with me.” P with a B said. getting sick of typing it so take that. freddy followed him to the back of a movie theater showing new movies like “sex in the city: the movie” and “sex in the city: the movie, but gay.”

pupper with a bupper passed by the movie theater though and instead went to the dumpster, where he threw freddy into. “don’t worry freddy. it will all be over soon.”

P with a B shut freddy in the dumpster and left him alone with a very horny rat right next to him.  
“h-hey friend. how are y-you?” freddy said to the rat nervously. the rat gave freddy some soap, which he dropped. “uh oh.” poor freddy. poor poor freddy. 

back in the real world, foxy was dead. turns out that shoving weed in your ass isn’t very healthy, and neither is snorting magic mushrooms and coca cola. bonnie read. chica got a pregnancy test, freddy was panting from the pain of this experience, puppet was drinking to forget all this, and carl was simply smoking a cigarette with springtrap. 

“who do you thinks gonna die next?” carl asked  
“definetly puppet. that much wine is just too much for a guy that skinny.” springtrap responded, laughing.  
after puppet finished drinking, he got up from the bar stool and fell flat on his face.  
“see?” springtrap was correct. puppet was dead.  
the end i think. next time: steroids

well this has been a ride, hasn’t it? thanks for reading my friend and i’m sorry for the inaccuracies in this dumb story, but i’m trying. anyways, bad conclusion, bye.


End file.
